I went to Mel Robbins’s Let Them tour to speak with fans — then one of them invited me in

New Yorkers had places to be last Friday. Many were headed to Madison Square Garden to watch the Knicks knock the Boston Celtics out of the NBA playoffs, while others were going to Yankee Stadium for the Subway Series to witness the return of Juan Soto. There were some heading to Broadway to see George Clooney and others to catch Jake Gyllenhaal. Then there were the people heading to the Beacon Theatre to see self-improvement author and motivational speaker Mel Robbins. I was one of them — except I wasn’t.

Robbins, a former lawyer who hosts The Mel Robbins Podcast, was on tour promoting her uber bestselling book The Let Them Theory, which came out last December. I showed up an hour and 45 minutes before the start of the show without a ticket or any understanding of how to practice Robbins’s teachings myself. My plan was to talk to her biggest fans to understand the frenzy behind Robbins’s burgeoning media empire.

Meet the fangirls

“It’s like Taylor Swift basically,” a 27-year-old Long Islander named Kaitlin told me. She bought two tickets at face value back in January when they were first released as a gift for her mom, Karen, 56, for Mother’s Day. “We listen to her together and we share episodes back and forth,” Kaitlin added before the mother-daughter duo flashed their matching friendship bracelets that spell out “let them” in beads.

They’re toward the front of a crowd stretching three-quarters of a city block. Waiting on line, they made friends with Lisa Rosenblatt, a 70-year-old from Mineola, N.Y., who I also spoke with. “I saw Mel Robbins when she had her CBS TV show about eight years ago. You felt like you were in her living room,” Rosenblatt said of Robbins’s appeal. “I read all her books, listen to the podcast daily and I feel like she’s my friend.” She then pulled out her copy of The Let Them Theory with over a dozen Post-it flags hanging out from the pages she’s marked up.

Kayla, a 24-year-old from Lehigh Valley, Pa., also feels that personal connection to Robbins. “Mel has gotten me through a lot of hard days,” Kayla admits. “She’s really helped me value myself as a person more.” Her 23-year-old Long Island bestie Hannah agrees: “She puts everything into perspective.” Like Karen and Kaitlin, the mother-daughter duo, they also share episodes back and forth. “Mel Robbins is our love language,” said Hannah.

Another group of friends in their 60s hop into the back of the line at its longest. Their excitement to keep up with it as people start entering the venue means we’re walking and talking.

“There’s a lot of talking heads but when Mel speaks, it’s plainspoken and I find it accessible and her delivery just makes sense. The ‘let them’ theory sounds so simple and yet, in our age group, damn we should have thought about this 30 years ago,” one of them said to me. Another agrees that Robbins makes a listener “feel very comfortable,” although she’s only been looped into the podcaster’s content by the friend beside her. “She’s bringing me to Mel Robbins because she thinks I need a lot of help.”

The “let them” theory is what inspired many members of the sold-out crowd that night. The phrase, popularized by Robbins, is a cornerstone of the book bearing the same name, which has sold 5 million copies in just five months. The two words have become a declaration of boundary setting that reminds individuals to prioritize their own dreams, happiness and goals over those of the people around them. The theory, she wrote, “will set you free from the exhausting cycle of trying to manage everything and everyone around you.”

She’s written two other books — The 5 Second Rule and The High 5 Habit — which have inspired her followers to rely on a 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 countdown to make a life-altering decision or give themselves a high-five in the mirror every morning to keep themselves going. She also has The Mel Robbins Podcast, which, according to SiriusXM, has more than 188 million streams and downloads globally and sits at the top of the charts week after week.

Becoming part of the pack

I am not one of Robbins’s rabid fans. I’ve come across her videos on TikTok but have only listened to her as a guest on one podcast. My plan for the evening was to speak with attendees before they filed in because actually getting in the theater was out of my budget: Resale on Ticketmaster was up to $1,058, prices I’ve seen for the likes of Taylor Swift’s Eras tour and Beyoncé’s current Cowboy Carter tour.

But that all changed when I met Peggy Carroll, a 63-year-old from North Carolina. She approached me and asked if I needed a ticket, explaining that she had an extra she was trying to give away. “I paid over $400 for it and it’d be a shame to go to waste,” she said.

Carroll flew into New York that day and was leaving the next morning. “This was the closest show,” she said of Robbins’s tour, which also appeared in Boston, Chicago and Toronto. “My son was coming with me but then he couldn’t because of work stuff,” so she ended up making the trip alone. But, she wasn’t really alone because she found me. “You were supposed to be here with me,” she said, like it was meant to be.

As we entered the venue, we were handed bright green tote bags with Robbins’s tour logo on them and a book inside. I urged Carroll to take mine to bring back to her 31-year-old son who was “bummed” to miss the event. “No, no. You’re going to need it,” she instructed. I looked in and saw a notebook that I thought I’d use only for my reporting notes once we were in our fifth-row seats.

Carroll paid $499 per ticket on the day they were released but would have paid almost anything. She’s disappointed to have skipped out on buying merchandise on site — like $45 T-shirts and $100 sweatshirts — because the line was wrapped around the entirety of the theater’s main floor. As I headed into the women’s bathroom, I saw that another attendee had already changed into her “Let Them” shirt. Carroll would order something online later.

We spent nearly an hour chatting in our seats before the show began (Robbins appeared at 8 p.m.). Carroll told me about converting her family and friends into fans of Robbins and showed me her Instagram explore page, which exclusively suggested Robbins’s content to her. She shared photos of her daughter’s wedding one year ago and her granddaughter’s second birthday party happening that same day. She asked me about my life, my career and my relationship, exuding joy over it all as if she were an aunt relishing in my success and happiness.

The energy in the room around us began to swell as the 2,894 seats of the venue filled up, and only intensified as an opening video played. I was ready to experience the magic of Mel Robbins — or so I thought. Nothing could have prepared me for the screams of thousands of women, from 20-somethings to 70-somethings, who were all up on their feet for Robbins’s entrance, which included bright lights, loud music and lots of jumping from Robbins onstage. Over the next hour and 50-something minutes, she was meant to change my life.

Through a newbie’s eyes

Robbins put on one hell of a show. She started by telling the crowd a bit about her upbringing, her marriage and starting a family — all context that was necessary for me but seemed to be known by most others. She shared her rock-bottom moments and how they became the spark for the practices that have ultimately made her famous — the 5 Second Rule and, of course, the “let them” theory — sprinkling humor and humility throughout. Her 26-year-old daughter Sawyer was brought onstage to discuss her own journey to becoming her mother’s coauthor for the latest and most notable book. They reenacted the ways that the “let them” theory changed their relationship in an effort to assure that it works in practice.

Her other daughter, Kendall, popped in toward the end to share her own experience with imposter syndrome and comparison, before singing an original song (a performance I wasn’t expecting but loved). The grand finale was something out of America’s Got Talent, mimicking the golden buzzer with a great splash of gold confetti as Robbins delivered her final line. “I believe in your ability to create a better life. Now, go do it!”

Before the confetti settled onto the ground, a line of VIP ticket holders appeared in the aisle beside us, waiting for their chance to take a photo with Robbins. Carroll joked that she was sorry she didn’t pay for the VIP perks and I wouldn’t have the chance to meet Robbins that evening. But truthfully, I didn’t care too much about that — I felt like I had already met the people that impacted me most that night.

The women I met in line who welcomed an outsider with open arms, the best friends sitting beside me tearing up and supporting one another through the show, the person who threw up their hand to show off a “Let Them” tattoo, and the husband who sat with his wife just in front of me watching her experience what was sure to be her bucket list moment. And, of course, Carroll.

We walked out onto the Upper West Side streets together with our green tote bags in hand — mine carrying a notebook that had just two pages filled, one with notes for this story and another with thoughts inspired by Robbins’s presentation — discussing the magic of the show for just a moment before reflecting on the real magic of the night, which was encountering each other.

“Kerry, it was GREAT to meet you and I know it was meant to be! THANK YOU for joining me and for making the night even more special!” Carroll texted me later that evening. “A gift to have met you tonight!! And remember….. ‘Let Them.’”

Days later and I have yet to tune in to Robbins’s podcast, I haven’t run to purchase her book (although I’m interested in reading it) and I don’t think I’ve even shared much of the show with friends. What I have talked about is the woman who approached me, took me under her wing and shared something so personal to her with a complete stranger. And maybe that was the whole point of the evening — to let things unfold, let people surprise me and maybe even let them change me too. I wasn’t going to pay over $1,000 for the ticket myself, but my “let them” experience was unexpectedly priceless.