Double sinks in the primary bathroom are the cilantro of design: You either love it or hate it. For some, double vanities are an unnecessary luxury or a waste of coveted counter space if you don’t have much to begin with. “Nothing makes me angrier than the double sink movement,” Drew Barrymore once declared on her talk show. One sink, especially if you’re single like the star, is enough. But for some couples, having that second sink helps keep the peace in their relationship and is a lot more effective than trying to namaste your way through the near-daily irritation of your partner’s dried toothpaste, spilled makeup, stray hairs or beard trimmings strewn about the basin.
There are entire Reddit threads with people passionately debating double vs. single sinks, with dual sink supporters saying they’re “a game changer,” while others vent and lament about having to share a single basin with their partner. “It’s annoying having to come home to a sink only to find dried toothpaste and hair in the sink,” wrote Reddit user De-railled. With double sinks, “it’s kinda like, ‘My side, your side,’” they added, noting: “We could all live more harmoniously if there were less things to fight about.”
Reddit user LivinLaVidaListless can’t stand that her husband gets water all over his side of the double sink. The solution: “I designed a bathroom with two sinks on opposite sides of the room,” saying that having double sinks is “a hill I’ll die on.”
Another Reddit user, Fit_it, shared that her husband appreciates that her skin care products aren’t crowding his side of the bathroom, and when his sink clogs because “he lets his beard hair drop into it while he’s shaving and then just rinses it away, it is not my problem.” She adds: “In a previous relationship we only had one sink and we were both constantly annoyed at each other for the above reasons.”
Reddit user Kikiprocrastinates, meanwhile, has this to say: “I would rather die than share a sink with my husband again.”
While Polly Blitzer Wolkstein, a beauty writer and twin mom who has been married for 18 years, likely wouldn’t put it that way, she does prize having her own sink. Before moving to a house with a double vanity, Wolkstein shared a single sink with her husband in their old New York City apartment. They navigated it “mostly through a rose-tinted honeymoon phase,” but she says: “It was a dance of choreographed negotiation. As a beauty editor, I had products everywhere — testing, reviewing, piling up. Two people brushing teeth and washing faces in a space barely big enough for one was never ideal. I can’t imagine going back.”
The double sinks have been a boon for their relationship. “Having separate spaces means no bumping elbows, no hovering while someone else finishes up, no silent judgments about toothpaste drips,” she tells Yahoo Life. “It’s not just practical, it’s considerate.”
There’s also something to be said for having your own personal space when you’re part of a couple. “In a marriage, so much is collective, but these are the rare ‘you do you’ areas where we can be just a little selfish, and it works,” she says. “We share a life, but we also need our own space to get ready [and] decompress.”
Real estate agent Allison Gold says that for home buyers, double sinks are a “must-have.” She has them too (pictured here), but says she would have been happy with a single sink and more counterspace. (Photo courtesy of Allison Gold)
Double sinks are a ‘must-have’ for many
The Wolksteins are far from alone. According to the National Association of Homebuilders’ What Home Buyers Really Want 2021 survey, double sinks are a “must-have.” Nearly 70% of people looking to buy a home say that double vanities in the bathroom are at the top of their most wanted list.
Real estate agent Allison Gold says that when she sits down with buyers to talk about their wants and needs for a home, invariably, on that list are dual sinks in the primary bathroom. “It is absolutely expected, at least at a certain price point in single-family homes,” she tells Yahoo Life. “I 100% agree that if there are not two sinks, it does not feel elevated. It’s kind of a must-have for a primary suite.”
That said, when Gold and her husband of nearly 15 years discussed their bathroom setup, he wanted two sinks, while she preferred a single basin with more counter space. “He won. We have two sinks,” she says. But, Gold adds, “We both use the same sink 90% of the time.” She doesn’t mind sharing and says “it’s kind of cute” when they’re brushing their teeth at the same time, though she can and does escape to a second bathroom if they need to get ready at the same time.
Emma Cabaness, a mom of two who has been married for almost 20 years, has lived with and without a double sink and says she prefers dual vanities without question. Cabaness and her husband had double sinks for most of their marriage until they moved into their current home. “It’s just a tight space,” she tells Yahoo Life. “I have a lot of products, and he has a lot of shaving gadgets. I would love double vanities again! It really makes life easier — space, privacy, etc.”
Cabaness says that remodeling isn’t an option because of their bathroom’s smaller square footage. “We don’t even talk about it because the space won’t allow it,” she says. “Sometimes my hubs just uses the kids’ bathroom because he knows he is kinda messy.”
Emma Cabaness had double sinks in the past, but her most recent home doesn’t have them. She misses having her own space. (Photo courtesy of Emma Cabaness)
The challenges of sharing a sink
It’s that messiness that can cause friction in some relationships. Adolescent and family psychologist Barbara Greenberg has seen it in her own practice, with clients complaining about the mess a partner left behind in the bathroom after brushing their teeth or shaving.
Part of the challenge, Greenberg notes, is that we all have different standards of cleanliness. “People argue a lot about the cleanliness of the sink and have this issue of toothpaste in the sink,” she says. Her theory as to why a small annoyance like this can turn into a festering argument? “I think it’s that you messed up my personal space,” she says.
Jockeying for the same space in the bathroom or having to wait your turn, especially if you’re both trying to get out of the house around the same time, can also cause couples strife. It’s something one Reddit user, Abeyance, addressed in the thread on double vs. single sinks: “I currently have a single bathroom sink, so my fiancé and I have to ‘take turns’ where I’m brushing my teeth, then he’s brushing his teeth, then I’m washing my face, then he’s shaving … it’s annoying AF.”
“One thing people fight about is not having their own space. That’s a big point of contention in marriages,” says Greenberg, who also acknowledges that not everyone has the room or financial means (or the desire) to redo their bathrooms and have two sinks.
Greenberg says that relationships are more likely to be “healthy and sustainable” if each person has areas of personal space. For some, the bathroom is the best place to start.
